World War P

This is a story of being connected.  This is a story of islands.  This is a story of disease.

This, my friends, is the story about the time the entire island of Pohnpei got pinkeye.

It happened in early December.  Patient 0.  He was sitting on a toilet and probably found himself without anything sturdy with which to wipe his ass, so he went with the old standard: his left hand.  The man (presumably) exited the bathroom only to have no adequate hand-washing station in sight accompanied by an intense urge to scratch his eye.  Boom!  The poop bacteria invaded his conjunctiva and began to multiply.  Pus began to flow.  He touched his eyes, and then someone's hand.  What happened next was tragic.

Patient 0 and his first contact don't wash their hands.  They also eat with their hands from the same plate as everyone else.  They also drink from the same unwashed cups as everyone else.  They use the same towels.  The same washcloths.  The same clothes.

On Pohnpei, it's hard to find soap.  It is truly a scarce resource.  In the outer communities the knowledge of bacteria is little, so the demand for soap is quite low.  When they do use soap, it is cheap powder laundry soap, and they use it on everything.  Dishes, clothes, babies...  You name it.  Also in many public places such as government offices, there is no soap in the bathrooms along with no toilet paper.  The budgets apparently just aren't large enough for janitors and sanitary supplies.

It was a recipe for disaster.

Immediately the entire Pohnpeian elementary school population was hit.  It spread like wildfire.  The routes for contamination were infinite.    Every student came to school with it.  They didn't care about infecting their classmates.  I watched them touch textbooks and doorknobs only for the next student to touch them immediately after.  They shared pencils and erasers.  They shook hands.  The slapped each other playfully.  

Every Peace Corps Volunteer shook with fear.  We all didn't want to catch it, but one by one, most of us did.  Antibiotics were had.  Sunglasses were worn.  It was all out bacterial warfare.  But there was still one more victim to get.

Me.

I managed to stay away from the main surge of pinkeye.  How?  I have no clue.  This was the case until Sunday January 19th.  I was writing my book when a sudden muscular pain struck beneath my right eye.  I checked the mirror.  Yep.  Pinkeye.

The last time I had it was in Spain.  That episode was absolutely horrible.  Pus everywhere.  This time, however, is not as bad.  Minimal fluids and after today, day 3, the pain is nonexistent.  I think getting pinkeye is like a right of passage for any abroad experience (at least in my case).

So basically I was Brad Pitt.  I survived the initial pinkeye zombie attack, but then I wasn't like Mr. Pitt.  I got bit(ten grammar?).  Maybe I should have infected myself with something less harmful, like contagious sarcasm, to ward of the pinkeye zombies from getting to me.  Maybe I'd have lived.

Well...  I guess only one of us could marry Jolie, right buddy?  Well played ol' chap.  Well played.

Un saludo.

The Fastest Un-Qualified Runner Pohnpei Ever Saw

It's funny how life changes pretty quickly.  That's also what makes it fun, and sometimes that's what makes it suck.  Pretty badly.

About a month ago, I competed in the December 14th track meet in Madelonihmw.  Much to my amazement I turned out to be the fastest 1500m Pohnpei has to offer, and I was told that I could represent Team Pohnpei for the Microgames coming in July 2014.  Ironic that a white man wins the Pohnpei track meet to move on to go to the Micronesian Olympics?  I'd say.  Almost sounds like the plot to a bad "good-feeling" movie.  Sometimes I like to think I'm the star of a really bad/corny t.v. series, and this was going to be a good episode.

So I trained.  I trained hard.  I mean, wouldn't you if you had a spot to defend?  The #1 spot!?  I'd never been #1 before at anything.  I'd say the last time I won first place was in high school for like "Best Calculus Student" or some nerdy thing like that.  So the realization of being the best runner was pretty cool.  Novelty is exciting.  I used this excitement to train.  I tried to run every day about three miles and do other sorts of calisthenics.  I probably am at the best shape of my life right now.  I trained not just to represent Team Pohnpei,  but I trained to hopefully win the Microgames.

Time to blow the ego right out the window.

December 29th.  A tragic day.  I was playing soccer and I majestically tripped on the ball and smashed my face into the dirt.  Yes, it was graceful.  What also happened is I managed to really bugger up my right leg pretty well.  It might require an MRI.  It has sucked.  Big.  Salty.  Chocolatey.  Balls.  

 January 11th.  A shitty day.  I got a very upsetting Facebook message stating that maybe I couldn't join the Microgames in July 2014.  Before, I was told that I could join as long as I had been in country two years before the games.  By July 2014 that would have been the case, but this message said that the Director of the Microgames had heard about my story and had wanted to clear up the air.

Still, I didn't know what to believe.  So I went to the Microgames office today to figure it all out.  I met with the man who had told me about the two year requirement.  He reaffirmed that the Microgames committee had decided on a two year requirement to participate. I told him about the Facebook message from the Director, but he said that the Microgames committee has no specific rule on the stay requirement to participate.  I asked him if there was a handbook that I could read to see the rules for the Microgames.  He said there was no handbook.

Of course, there was a handbook.

I still needed a definite result, and I needed to talk to the guy who told me I couldn't join.  So I called him.  We had a very brief chat today.  I actually talked to him and the man who told me the two year policy.  The Director said that it's actually five or seven years in the policy handbook.  Of course, there was a handbook.  But what are rules anyway but pieces of gibberish strung together to restrict people's doings, right?  Rules.  Damn rules.

After the phone call I was pretty torn up.  Still, I was/am on the track team, just downgraded a bit.  Kind of like a waterboy with no cooler.  Oh, or like a towelboy with only sandpaper sheets!  Whichever analogy you choose, I am boned and banned from running.  The two year man apologized to me today at track practice.  I mean, leading someone on for a month is kind of a shitty offense.  But no worries.

Apology accepted.

So that's it.  My dream to win the Olympics is dead, my leg is screwed up, and this can of coke (my personal beer) is getting empty.  Time for another round to celebrate the tale of the Fastest Un-Qualified Runner in Pohnpei.

Salud.

Tis' the Season to Get Bitter - Fa La La La Ah Screw It

I realized that my last videoblog was an extreme fail at representing my last few months here, so in addition to seeing me make a fool out of myself on Youtube, you also get to see my vomitastic writing.

Let's start off this post with an accomplishment. I won an event in a track meet. Yes. This is coming from someone who had an asthma attack at his last track event (waaay back in 4th grade at Pinon Valley Elementary School). Suck it asthma! Memories. Anyhow, I'd been training for about two months for the 800m and the 1500m race, and the track coach decided to have me run in the 1500m race. I'd never run it before, but hey, it's whatever right? My best time before the track meet was 5:07 during practice. This time, however, had been right after I'd been sick coughing up snot. So, I thought I'd be daring and say I could beat my best 5:07 time by 7 seconds (a large margin) in the track meet on December 14th.

I was right. I did beat my time, but not by just 7 seconds. I beat it by 24 seconds. 4:43. On top of that, I won first place. It was pretty amazing. I hadn't been expecting to even be in the top three finishers, and then I go on to win it?! I was pretty proud of myself. Another volunteer, Yamy, joined my in the event and finished 4th in the womens division. Peace Corps represented. Damn right. This means that if I keep my time up, and maybe even lower it, I can represent Team Pohnpei in the Microgames (The Micronesian Olympics. Ya, it's capitalized because it's important) in July 2014. I'm pretty excited, and I've been training harder now that I have to keep my spot.

That's right. I'm going to be in the Olympics! kind of...

Switching gears now.

So Christmas started on December 1st. That's right. December first. As if Twelve days of Christmas weren't enough. Why do people celebrate the whole month here? Well... Why not! I mean, shouldn't we all celebrate the entire month in which Jesus wasn't born but we've designated to do so anyway? I think so.

Not.

Nett School stayed pretty strong with delivering a quality learning experience to all the students, that is, until three days before Christmas break. My co-teacher and I had decided to keep having English lessons no matter what the other teachers were doing. It's common for the last week (or two) before Christmas break to be "preparation for Christmas". Translation: that means you do nothing. So we stayed strong and kept delivering lessons as we watched the other teachers sitting, movies being played, and students walking around. We did so until three days before break. My co-teacher couldn't hold out any longer, and to be honest, neither could I. I was getting pretty tired, and honestly, I needed my teaching break to come early.

And so began the Christmas Preparation. (It's capitalized because it's important.)

The students decorated the room with more constuction paper than I've seen in quite a while. Stars and rings hung from the ceiling. I tried to make a Star of David to maybe start a conversation on Judiasm, but on second thought since no Pohnpeian child knows anything about Judiasm, I decided to spare myself explaining to kids that some people don't believe in Jesus being savior. Long sentence, right? Besides, if you know me well enough, you'd know that any craft I make looks absolutely like it came out of the garbage. Moving on. So we prepared for two days. On the third day, we had our Christmas party. It is the most important day in a Pohnpeian child's life. The kids get all excited because since Christmas is quite expensive, many families here choose to celebrate it through the school's Christmas Party (it's capitalized because it's important.). It's basically their Christmas day. The school tells every student to bring a gift to exchange with another student that has to be exactly $10. This being so, many stores in Pohnpei create gift baskets costing $10 to make a bunch of money. The parents buy the gift bags, and the kids exchange them. Looking at it, it doesn't make sense for two people to buy two bags with mostly the same stuff in them and then exchange it. Shouldn't they just keep the bags, or better yet, shouldn't they just save their money? Then again, isn't spending ridiculous sums of money on stupid gifts what we do for Christmas in America? (Oh ya, I'll let that one sit with you for a while.)

So all the kids are having fun dressed in non-school-uniform clothes. They're eating more icecream, cake, and sugar than they should for like a whole month. They're dancing. They're running around. They're having soo much fun.

It just gave me a headache. I was burnt out. And so ended the school semester.

After school ended, boredom struck. As much as I might gripe about teaching sometimes, it keeps me busy with a schedule. It's 100 times better than having nothing to do. To fill this void, I coached my girls basketball team. It was fun, but coordination has been quite a hassle. No one has a cell phone, so coordination is close to impossible. It's been fun though.

Also to fight boredom I decided to make some coconut oil after watching a Youtube video on how to do it. It's actually not too hard. I just sent a liter back to my mom in the States, and it smelled damn good. I will definitely be making more of it.

Last part. I promise. New Years. New Years is quite different in Pohnpei than it is in the U.S. Quite different. In the States everyone starts celebrating at like 8 p.m. and finishes at like 2 p.m. at the latest. It's all about watching the ball drop in New York, kissing a rando, and getting a little drunk on champagne. It's nice.

For Pohnpeians, that sounds absolutely boring as shit. The party doesn't even start until exactly 12:00 a.m. Then everyone stands up and shakes everyone's hand. "Pa-ra-kapw-MWAHU". Happy New Year! Except they doen't scream and shout it. They kind of just stand up. Not for long does this boredom last. No no. New Years has just began. For the next 24 hours Pohnpeians proceed to race around in flatbed trucks, drunk as hell, banging on empty oil cans. They proceed to drink whole bottles of vodka, by themselves. They proceed to hold hands with the opposite sex. They proceed to cry and scream in hatred at each other. It's a day when anything goes. It's a day when the pent-up social tension is released all at once. Frankly, it scared the shit out of me.

So that's December for ya. Track meet. Christmas Party (It's capitalized because it's important). School ended. Boredom began. Made some coconut oil. Got freaked out by a explosion of social tension on New Years Day. Blah. That's about it.

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Please leave me a comment if you'd like to know more. I'd be happy to "ka-we-we-ong-uhk" "teach you".

Un saludo. - Nick

2013 in Review - aka My First and Last Attempt at a Videoblog

Note to self: It's awkward talking to a camera when you're by yourself.
Here are some pictures of my most recent project: making coconut oil. Also I threw in a picture of a newphew of mine playing Nerf basketball with me, a countdown to the Microgames, and a bonus picture of Boulder. Good times.

Christmas Card

The Only Constant Thing is Change

Vosotros sabíais que este día vendría. Un post en Español. Lo siento. No pude resistir...

No quiero desilusionaros, pero este post no tiene una manera excitante de relatar mi mes pasado. En vez de empezar a excitaros como yo siendo el Jack Bauer de Micronesia, voy a decir que este mes ha sido como una ola de sine (para los que no son buenos con las matemáticas, digamos que sea una línea de garabato.) En este momento quedo en el parte al abajo de esa línea, pero ojalá que vaya para arriba en el tiempo que viene.

Intentaré explicaros.

Al principio de este mes me encontré muy feliz. Yo recibí de nuevo mi título de "entrenador". Por suerte, un equipo de chicas de un colegio aqui necesitó un entrenador. Ya tenían un hombre de unos cuarenta años, pero les dije que me gustara ayudarles un poco como un asistente.

Bueno, quizás los Pohnpeians piensen que un ayudante significa ayuda gratis, y a muchas personas les gusta violar la ayuda gratis…

En tiempo, el entrenador principal empezó a no venir a los partidos, y yo mismo tenía que ser el entrenador principal. No estoy enojado por eso, sino que estoy enojado por la manera en que el entrenador principal me informó de ése. Cinco minutos antes del primer partido, el me viene y me dice, "Bueno, me tengo que ir a otro partido de baloncesto. Puedes tú dirigir este partido de baloncesto?" Por claro, dije que sí, pensando que esa vez sería la primera y última.

Me equivoqué. No fue la última.

Ahorita no sé lo que va a acontecer con mi equipo. Tenemos un tornamento que viene este mes, y vamos a ver como va.

He entrenado para una competición de pista y campo que pasará este 15 de diciembre en Madelonihmw en el sur de esta isla. He entrenado por el 800m y el 1500m. Hace una semana que logré correr una milla, casi 1600m, en 5:48, pero sentí que pudiera hacerlo en menos de 5:35. Ojalá que mi 1500m en el dia del evento pueda ser menos de 5:15. I hope....

Además de eso, tres amigas mías de Peace Corps fueron expulsados de Peace Corps. Había mucha drama por ello. Estamos tristes por sus salidas, pero vamos a continuar sin ellas. Eran buenas voluntarias, y deseo lo mejor para sus vidas.

Tuvé dos Thanksgivings aqui. Sí. Repito. Tuvé dos. Uno pasó en la casa de mi Nohno (mi madre en Pohnpei), y el otro pasó en la casa de nuestro director asistente de Peace Corps. No voy a mentir. Tener la oportunidad de comer el pavo dos veces.... mmm. joder... jaja.

Y bueno, un mes de Peace Corps no puede pasar sin enfermarme.

Hace casi una semana que he tenido el gripe. No duermo bien. No puedo entrenar para mi día del atletismo. Como un estudiante nuevo de espanol diria, "No es bueno!" Sí, amigo chiquito. No es bueno.

Ya acabo de escribir en este post.

And oh, if you don't speak Spanish, please take this post to Google Translate para que puedas enterarte del bueno que es mi vida. jaja.

Digamos que puedas leer este post como Antonio Banderas, si quieres.

Un saludo.

- Nicolás

Time Is Not On My Side

And so began the countdown. 274 days left. Hell, it's even posted next to the Governor's Office how many days left I have until I get back on a plane to the U.S. (or where ever I'm going...). Well, that's kind of a lie. It's really about 300 days left. The countdown sign is for the start of the Micronesian Olympics, which coincidentally, also has a part to play in this post. I just got the random idea to have this post like the old t.v. show 24. You know; the clock. Bum. Bim. Bum. Bim. Let's keep that theme.

Bum. Bim. Bum. Bim. 17:54.06 hours.

One day as I stumbled onto the track on a Saturday evening, I noticed something peculiar. There were children. There were children running. It was amazing. The track and field had somehow sprung to life from the nothingness and soccer players that it once was. I knew something was up, but I had no clue. I saw the kids were running 400 meter dashes around the track and the track coach was timing them. I had every intention of running with the kids to show my support for them (and of course to show them who's boss). So I lined up with one group, and they sort of looked at me funny. "You want to join," one asked. "Let's do this," said a boastful Nick trying to pump up some indifferent teenagers. So we raced around the track and much to my surprise, I was fast. I was faster than I remembered. I ended up running the 400 meters in 1:04, which is decently fast. I beat the kids by about 100 meters, but they beat me in the aftermath. I thought I was going to faint. The world got dark and fuzzy. I couldn't stand. I sat down and tried to focus my remaining energy on not dying. In this deathly state, the track coach came up to me and said, "Okay Nick. You're on Red Team."

"I'm on red what?"

Bum. Bim. Bum. Bim. 17:58.33 hours.

Then it all came into focus. I stood up and realized that my running the 'race' was signing up for the Nett Constitution Day celebration at the track, but I wouldn't be racing against kids. (Yes, Nett Municipality has its own Constitution even though it already existed before the Constitution was written. Anyhow, it's a day off of school, and there's athletics. I can't complain.) I'd be racing against, eh, let's just say some of these people went to the Olympic Preliminaries in the London Olympics. So I started training for my 800 meter and 400 meter race. I trained. Ha. No. I jogged. But, I held my own at the competition. My estimate is that 1,500 people showed up for the Constitution Day celebration. I ran a 59.75 second 400 meter and a 2:23 800 meter. I checked my times against some others online. Apparently if I got into an 800 meter foot race with the fastest 10 year old in the world, I could barely beat him. This feat actually got me some street cred in town. People now wave and call out my name on the road. "Teacher Nick!" Yep, that's me.

Bum. Bim. Bum. Bim. 19:33.22 hours.

Then I got the craziest idea in my head after the race. Could I, an extremely WASPy WASP (minus the Protestant), do more with running. Could I, an average runner back in the U.S., be a part of the Micronesian Olympics in July 2014? I had just finished my second 100 meter dash at practice on Monday when I asked the track coach this preposterous question. Could I? Mr. Obama, please do me the honor. Yes. You. Can. For the past 4 days I've put my body through what I consider to be a moderate sprinters workout. I'm training for the 800 meter and probably the 1500 meter (almost a mile). I only have one question.

Will the Olympic torch be a coconut husk on fire?

Bum. Bim. Bum. Bim. 20:13.09 hours.

School has been going well. My co-teachers and I work well every day, and oh how those kids are learning their letters. I've made it a personal vendetta to make sure every 6th grader knows the difference between D/T, B/P, G/K, F/V, and when to say the "huh" sound at the beginning of words that start with H. Pohnpeians don't usually differentiate between these letters which makes their English bad. Really bad. I mean the difference between craB and craP is huge, right? [They liked that example :)] The students have responded in a way I couldn't have imagined. They now take daily spelling class as a personal challenge to get better at their letter pronunciation. My students can now hear when their classmates are saying the letters wrong. Even my co-teachers are learning the differences. Spelling letters has now become fun, and even competitive. It's an all out war. They're saying the letters so well now, it almost makes me cry. Okay, now I'm crying.

Bum. Bim. Bum. Bim. 22:35.22 hours.

I've recently started to write a book. No, it's not one of those touchy feely emotional books about my life's struggle through Peace Corps. It's an action/thriller book. All I can tell you now is that it's the story of a recently released convict who is now being set up for a crime he didn't commit. He now has to race to not be caught by the police and to prove his innocence by finding the people who set him up. It's turning out to be a great project. If you would like to be a book reviewer/editor, I'm all up to send you a chapter or two. I plan to publish this book. Ya, it's serious.

Bum. Bim. Bum. Bim. 23:55:52 hours.

Since Jack Bauer is about to solve the crime, I guess it's time to log off this post with some pictures. Enjoy, but not too much.

My students hard at work.

My bed is quite comfortable.

Lili - the wonderful woman who makes sure I get fed fried chicken, rice, or ramen for under $3.

Students attending to the school garden.

Recess is quite uneventful. The children are discouraged from playing and running. They mostly just go buy their food for lunch. Yes, I'll take one diabetes and 2 of those new obesity orders on the menu.